I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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