A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
