I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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