Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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