Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
