Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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