SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
