I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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