was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
