My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
