the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
