If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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