I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
