Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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