I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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