So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
