Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
