Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
