He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
