I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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