Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
