He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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