How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
