you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
