Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
