yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
