i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
