so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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