He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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