Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
