Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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