She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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