I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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