"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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