apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
