Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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