So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
