3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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