it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize