Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
