Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
