You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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