I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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