dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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