Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
