I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
