i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
