My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
