she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
