how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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