Do you still have your period?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You can't just leave with hair like that
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
