when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
