just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
