Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize