Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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