Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
