You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
