I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
