2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize