Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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