My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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