So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
