Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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