Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just puked most of my soul out..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize