Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
